12 Things That Drunk Guys In India Never Say

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A drunk guy in India never says -"  I am listening,  let you speak first, I wont interrupt. "
If you have  ever heard a fully drunk  guy allowing others to speak, you have witnessed a miracle. Because, in reality, the first visible sign of  someone getting drunk  is when he starts interrupting others  :  "पहले मेरी बात सुन "

A drunk guy  in India never says - "  Am I speaking too much useless things ? I think I m drunk now 
 "
I bet nobody ever said this after getting drunk, rather he would tell you  all his shitty  stories and rubbish ideas nonstop, and then suddenly say  :"भाई , ये  मत सोच की  पी के बक  रहा हूँ  "

A drunk guy in India never says -
       "You are  just  another friend of me, we wont become brothers 
 by boozing together"
A drunk guy said this ?  Either he is pretending to be drunk or he is not an Indian, Because in India a guy who is drunk reserves copyright to say : " तू मेरा भाई है  यार , तेरे वास्ते जान हाजीर है , बता किसको मारना है ?"


A drunk guy In India never says -"Girls are loyal"
 A drunk guy never says this  sentence if he is drinking with friends rather he would die. The reason behind this behavior is still to be revealed but still, what most probably he would say is:  लौंडियों का कोई  भरोसा  नही , कब गांड पे लात मार जाए " 


A drunk guy in India never says -"I m really broken , She left me alone. ( Its really difficult for me to make new girlfriend.)"
Even The most dumb guy of the circle wouldn't say this.  in such situation The boozers protocol doesn't allow to say anything instead of this shit :  तेरे  भाई के पास लौंडियों की  कोई कमी नहीं हे , लाइन लगा दूंगा। एक से एक  बन्दियां मरती  तेरे  भाई पे।
A drunk guy in India never says -"You guys will be always there with me ; but to have a nice girlfriend like her is more important. I don't wanna loose her." 
Believe me , if a guy really wants to quit partying with friends for good, would only dare to say this. because on a boozers table they wont bother anything that could bring threats to the alcoholic brotherhood . All they want to hear is :  " दोस्तों के लिए हजार लड़कियाँ कुर्बान  "

A drunk guy in India never says - "I hate fights, I often get beaten by guys."
Are you gone mad? what did you say just before? seems like you you do not deserve to be  boozer, All know that you are big coward, but when you get drunk , you be like :  वैसे तो  मै मारता हूँ नहीं , अगर कोई बेकार  मेरे हत्थे चढ़ गया  ऐसे मारता हूँ की सारी जिंदगी बेंचो  बैठ के नहीं हग सके 



A drunk guy in India never says -"lets not drink much, there is a police check on the way back." 
I think this guy is new and not drunk if he said this. I am wondering how dare this guy is still sitting with drunkards. If he keeps repeating, I hope at least he will learn the punch line  : पूलिस तो मेरे जैब  मैं  हैं,  एक कॉल करूँगा , ठुल्ला  वहीं  सलाम ठोकेगा 



A drunk guy in India never says "New to this place? okay welcome, but i got nothing to do with that , coz  whole city knows that i m a hopeless looser drunkard and nothing else , so don't even think to get any help from me"
this is exactly what the guy should say. But after getting drunk it changes to :  कोई भी परेशान करे , एक कॉल कर देना।  शहर अपना है , सिक्का चलता हे मेरा 


A drunk guy in India never says -   "Nope, the MLA is not my fathers close friend. And  think neither the  MLA knows anyone from  my family."
No drunk guy dares to say this, what ever may be the real status of his family, but one would always like this : मिनिस्टर अपना आदमी है, पर हर छोटी मोटी बात पे  में फ़ोन नहीं करता  

A drunk guy in India never says- "I get drunk easily.  Nah, no more drinks for me."
This is the golden line you will never hear in boozers par lour. The more he gets intoxicated  more he says :दारु चढ़ ही नहीं यार।  ओर मंगा 


A drunk guy in India  never says- "I wont drive, i m drunk"

Since the days, alcohol motor vehicles were invented, I think nobody in India ever heard a drunk guy saying that he wont drive anymore. But There are very less people who haven't heard this :  
"गाड़ी  आज में  चलाऊंगा " 

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Location: Guwahati, Assam, India

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